How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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