I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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