He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is it because I queefed?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
