I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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