I puked a lego.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
