so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The power of my boobs compel you
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
