my mouth tastes like poor choices
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
