So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
