Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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