I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
