Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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