Taylor Swift is so right about you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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