i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you made out with another girl for some wings
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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