hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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