She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Four minutes until I can fart!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
my poor anus
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
