I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
