My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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