can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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