BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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