i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
