dude i'm inner monologue high
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
