Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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