brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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