I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
