please come you make the beer taste better
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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