I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
