I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
