i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
