Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
