Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
