can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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