Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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