What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
