If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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