I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
