My hair reeks of homosexuality.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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