it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
