I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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