Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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