Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
