Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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