508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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