he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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