They should really pass out barf bags in church
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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