just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
