brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she was so not down for the gang bang
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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