I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
