So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
