He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
