when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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