I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
