By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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