My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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